Our counselors see it every day in our clinics: A father walks in with his pregnant girlfriend, saying he’ll support her decision, whatever she decides. Our culture preaches “Her Body, Her Choice” as a message of female empowerment, but at Morning Star we know differently. By making the decision her choice, a father is disconnecting himself from the pregnancy, making it easier for him to walk away or to pressure the mom into choosing abortion.
That’s why, at Morning Star, we take the fathers out of the waiting room and into a counseling room. Steve Morris, our Nurse Clinic Manager, talks to these dads one-on-one, giving them the opportunity to work through their fears and form a positive vision of what fatherhood might look like for them. Discussions help these fathers recognize the importance of their role in the decision-making process and how they can support the moms.
After counseling, these dads enter the ultrasound exam room and see their babies—making it very real for them.
An ultrasound shows them it’s not just tissue.
An ultrasound shows them their babies’ heartbeat.
An ultrasound allows them to bond with their babies.
An ultrasound connects them to their children.
At Morning Star we are connecting moms and dads to their babies, to save as many families as we can from the trauma of abortion. Abortion has long tentacles and alters the lives of so many, lives like Angela’s husband, Jonathan. Angela came to Morning Star after struggling with her abortion from years ago. She found healing in Morning Star’s post-abortion support program; but as she experienced recovery, it brought to light the disconnect and denial her husband had been living with. He was willing to share his innermost thoughts on how their decision to have an abortion affected him.
Jonathan’s Story
I was already a dad of a two-year-old when my wife Angela told me she was pregnant again. My immediate response was “This is not the time.” There were too many things going on in our lives—we were busy with work, raising our young son and the children from my wife’s previous relationship. I disconnected from the pregnancy and thought it wouldn’t have an impact on me if she got rid of it.
By disconnecting, it made me feel like I wasn’t the one doing it, my wife was. I didn’t have to take on that responsibility or guilt.
Angela had the abortion. And I didn’t even really think about it. She came home from the appointment and I just went on about my business, not even acknowledging what happened.
I now realize it was a dark time in my life. How could I just leave her alone to deal with it physically and emotionally? My mindset was selfishness. I didn’t want to feel the pain. Disconnecting was allowing me to live my life and forget about it.
I buried that abortion for many years as I lived my life being a father and husband, providing for my family. But my growing relationship with God began to awaken me—slowly revealing my disconnect. And while I began realizing the ramifications of my own decision, Angela made the choice to go to Morning Star for help, to heal emotionally and spiritually. After one of the sessions Angela came back home and said she felt if we had the baby it would have been a boy and his name would have been Dominick.
Dominick.
He has a name.
He was real.
I got rid of Dominick. I didn’t value his life.
By giving a name to our child, he became real to me. I don’t know if, up to that point, I truly comprehended the consequences of our decision: Our own selfishness affecting the plan of God.
I had confessed multiple things to the Lord over those years, but I hadn’t owned up to anything about ending the life of Dominick.
My thoughts started spiraling that I could have had another son. That I didn’t just take a life, I took my own child’s life. And then when those thoughts finally settled, I began to mourn the loss of never hearing the sound of his cry, his smell, holding him in my arms.
It’s so like human nature … the thing you think you don’t want can all of the sudden be the only thing you want … and you would do anything to have it back.
I wish I could call his name.
I wish I could put his name to paper.
I wish my older son would have his brother, friend, companion.
You don’t think about how your decisions affect other people. I had to give it to the Lord. I was a man on my knees suffering from condemnation and He showed me how disconnected I was.
I didn’t get to pick my son’s name, it came from my wife’s healing process; but the name Dominick is so precious to me now.
It takes the Lord to reveal certain things to you. I know the Lord has been walking with me on this path and my journey is not finished. I know He has the power to forgive and the power to heal. Today I have freedom in Jesus. I know my story is not finished.
My hope is that, when I meet the Lord, I will see Dominick.
In today’s culture, it is too easy for fathers to give into the fear and uncertainty that surrounds an unplanned pregnancy—to disconnect and leave the mother of their child feeling alone, scared and desperately seeking a way out.
This Father’s Day, Pronio’s Market is encouraging our community to step up and support Life with a $15,000 Matching Gift Challenge. The deadline for this Life-Saving Match is June 23.
YOUR partnership with the Pronio Family will allow Morning Star to help 48 clients—empowering fathers to connect with their children and supporting families in making a choice for Life. It costs $625 to provide our services to one person in our community—services that include counseling, pregnancy testing, ultrasounds, STD testing & treatment, relationship & sexual health education, parenting classes, fatherhood program, baby clothing and supplies and Abortion Pill Reversal.
Help us reach men and women considering abortion and provide them with the support they need—so they can celebrate LIFE on Father’s Day.
